Mick plops his ball down just outside the back glass sliding door. He stares at me with his big brown eyes until I’m convinced we need to go play. Even though it’s nearly 100 degrees outside Mick still thinks playing ball sounds like a good idea…me not so much.
But somehow I find myself walking with Mick to the red park just behind our home to play fetch…his favorite past time. Mick joyfully trots beside me…happy to have gotten his way. I find a shady spot underneath a big Oak tree and start throwing the ball for him. Mick takes off at ‘super dog speed’ to chase the ball.
We play for several minutes in the hot summer sun until soon I notice Mick’s pace slow and his panting quicken. I can tell he’s already tired. The heat is getting to him.
“I think you better rest buddy,” I respond to Mick, as he drops the wet, soggy, and slobbery ball next to my feet, “You’re getting tired and it’s pretty hot out here…let’s take a break.”
But Mick doesn’t want to take a break…he snatches the ball up from beside me and tosses it playfully in the air.
“Ok your choice,” I reply “But trust me you’ll be paying for it in another few minutes.”
True to my word, after throwing the ball just a few more times… Mick soon sluggishly returns to my side underneath the Oak tree…tried, hot, and exhausted….unable to move…and I’m sure… wishing he had listened to my advice.
As I sat under that tall Oak tree with Mick yesterday, I thought about a parallel this story has to life….my life specifically. So many times I think I understand and know what’s best for me. I think playing ball in the hot sun seems great…and it is until…I’m worn out, tired, and unable to move.
However…this last year I’ve learned to trust in God’s plan for me…just a little better…
After Ryan and Evee passed away I felt helpless. There were so many unknowns. I remember trying to rest the evening after the funeral. My body was exhausted…and my spirit was burdened down with grief. I felt like the instant I closed my eyes, I would fall into a never ending sleep…but that wasn’t the case. I lay in bed and my mind wandered…and wondered.
How was I going to endure this thing called ‘life’?
The thought was very daunting and depressing. I felt like I couldn’t do it without my two angels. The goals I had set for myself…and the picture I had in my mind for how my life should look…was now shattered into thousands of tiny unfixable pieces…
Yet, soon after moving back home…I began seeing how God was taking those tiny unfixable…shattered pieces…and was putting them into place.
Fast forward nearly a year later…those pieces may not all be put ‘back’ together or to where they were…but God is taking those shattered pieces…and is putting them where He knows they should go.
Through His divine help and through the help of family, friends and neighbors…more and more pieces of my shattered ‘life’ picture are being picked up and put into a beautiful painting. My picture is still only partially complete…it will takes years of trusting in God’s plan for me before its true beauty will be revealed. And I’m sure I’ll have even more set-backs and moments when the paint will drip…and smudges will be evident…but I know Heavenly Father knows what my picture will look like.
It will be far more beautiful, glorious, and bright than I can imagine…broken pieces and all.
After resting in the cool shade for a few minutes…Mick looks back up at me with his big brown eyes…ready to play.
He grabs his ball and drops it near my lap…
“Ok buddy let’s do this…” I respond.
We walk back toward home and I throw the ball for him. The sun is still high in the sky and it’s still hot…but he’s learned to trust me…well at least a little anyway.
Once we get into the backyard Mick takes a big gulp of cold water and spends the rest of the afternoon resting in the shade of a big Cottonwood tree. They’ll be more time for playing ball tomorrow.