The last two weeks I’ve felt tired. Unmotivated. Stressed. Unsure. Lonely. Heartbroken. Scared….I’ve been in a slump. Each night for the last two weeks I set my alarm for 6am…with the determination to run, exercise or to study the following morning….but when my alarm sounds…I groan in tired displeasure and hit snooze until I have no choice, but to get up and get ready for work.
I’m not sure what the reason is behind my lack of motivation…but boy do I feel slumped.
As summer begins I find myself thinking of Ryan and Evee’s last moments…our last memories as a family. Soon all of my memories of Ryan and Evee will have ended. I won’t be able to make new memories. And I find myself often looking back at pictures and thinking, “if only we had known this would be our last time…hiking Adams Canyon together…going to Disneyland together…celebrating my Birthday together…camping up at Tony Grove Lake together…none of us knew it would be our last summer together. And now the summer months looming ahead seem unhappy…different….lonely and long.
I’m sure many of you experience the same lack of motivation and anxiety as I have been experiencing lately. Today I was expressing my feelings of inadequacy to my dad and this is what he told me…
“You are doing good Lyss. Heavenly Father is so proud of you! Everyone goes through ups and downs…or slumps. You can’t be on top of your game all of the time…but that doesn’t mean you stop trying.”
My heavy heart was comforted by his words and the spirit testified to me of their truthfulness.
I may want to be perfect in waking up each morning at 6am to exercise and study…but that won’t ever happen at least in this life.
I may want to have it all together spiritually, mentally, and physically…all the time…but that will never be the case in this life.
But just because I will never reach perfection in mortality…doesn’t mean I can’t keep striving for it.
Just because I’m going through another difficult time in my life doesn’t mean I can’t keep looking up and striving to do my best. Some days will be better than others and I’m so thankful for the opportunities I have to…
“Try again tomorrow.”
After talking to my dad about my concerns and feelings I realized that the only person I want to please right now is God…and God is pleased with my best efforts. He loves me for me…faults and all. He wants me to be happy… and if I put Him first…I can be happy.
I’m going to live each day to the fullest. I’m going to treat others with kindness and love. I’m going to make the best of every situation. I’m going to keep taking those steps toward perfection…even though I will never be perfect in mortality. I’m going to keep making memories with those whom I love…because the one thing I’ve learned is…you never know when those memories will be your last.