After showering and blow drying my hair this morning, I walked into the kitchen to find Kaya, head down, intently working on a drawing. I walked over to her and rested my head on hers.
“What you up to,” I asked?
She quickly covered up her picture,
“Don’t look!” she grinned, “I’m not done yet.”
I could see hearts in between her fingers as she desperately tried to hide her surprise.
I sat down on the couch and started looking through my phone. Soon my wide eyed little girl quietly tip toed to the couch and proudly handed me her creation.
I gently took it from her hand and looked down at her drawing.
Kaya always knows just what to do and say to make her mama’s day.
I’ve been putting off writing another post because quite honestly I’m running out of ammo. But if I wait patiently…soon the promptings come…
It’s hard. It’s exhausting. It’s thrilling. It’s taxing. It’s rewarding. It’s tiring. It’s disappointing. It’s beautiful.
Each time I think about the two sweeties who made me a mommy I get teary. They have shaped me into me. I wouldn’t be who I am this very day without their love. Influence. Hugs. Kisses. And patience.
Motherhood truly is one of my most wonderful blessings! Each day I thank my Heavenly Father for allowing me to nurture and help grow his precious spirit children. And even though one of my sweet babies is in heaven…I still strive to live my life worthy of her precious love. Many days I feel like I’m failing at the daunting task before me…but I’m reminded through the the gentle hugs, Eskimo kisses, genuine smiles, and warmth in my heart…that I can do it.
I remember feeling really inadequate before Kaya was born. I’d often wonder,
“I don’t know what to do with a baby.”
“Can I be a mother?”
“I hope I don’t mess her up!”
But you know what?
My little Kaya came into this world knowing her mama wasn’t perfect. Knowing I’d probably mess up every now and then…but she still chose me…and for that I will always be eternally grateful.
Two and a half years later…my blue eyed baby came into my life. My Evee. She brought with her a peace and love I’d yet known. I didn’t think my heart could love another child like I loved Kaya. But the heart can do amazing things. I loved her instantly.
My two girls have taught me and continue to teach me more than I could have learned on my own.
I love being a mom. Who would have known that it suits me.
Some of you may be a mother to one or to ten. Some of you may mother your neighbors, nieces, or nephews. Maybe you’re trying to become a mother to biological children or through adoption. However you mother, just remember that motherhood is part of womanhood. Sometimes ‘mom’ also sounds like aunt, friend, or grandma.
Although I love being a mom…some days seem like they will never end. But when I kiss the forehead of my little one as she drifts off to sleep…my heart swells and is repaired…I’m ready to start the new day when the sun comes up.
Don’t give up. You are shaping the world.
Your work is more important than any job at an office. Teaching and nurturing children in a loving home truly makes all the difference. And sadly many children go without a home or love….
Cherish your little ones….or bigger ones (teenagers are a whole other ball game and I’m terrified of that stage). Especially on the days when you want to pull your hair out…
Because despite what you may think…they have to be just as patient with us as moms sometimes.
Mama’s you got this! ❤️