Every night I kneel beside my bed and pray for strength, peace, courage, and comfort to live my life in the way Heavenly Father wants me to. I plead for the faith needed to accept God’s will. I also pray each night for tender dreams that will connect me to Ryan and Evee. In my dreams I can see their faces and smiles. I can hear their voices and I can kiss and hug them.
Last night I dreamt of kissing my little Evee’s cute chubby cheeks over and over…the way I used to. In my dream I got to ‘mother’ my daughter….the way I used to. I’m thankful that the Lord answers my prayers and allows me to dream of them….but when the sun rises my dreams are not my reality.
I wake up to an aching heart and sorrowful soul. I lay still, in the early morning hours, not wanting to feel or think. However, the longer I lay quiet and still in the darkness, the more my heart desires to be filled with light. I lean over and turn on the switch to my lamp. The light floods my darkened room and soon the deep sorrow of losing Ryan and Evee begins to soften. I reach over and begin reading in the Doctrine and Covenants section 104:33…
“And, inasmuch as they are faithful, I will multiply blessings upon them and their seed after them, even a multiplicity of blessings…”
“And inasmuch as he (or she) is faithful, I will multiply a multiplicity of blessings upon him (or her)…”
As I read onward, the phrase “a multiplicity of blessings…” enlightens my mind and fills my heart with gratitude and faith.
I continue reading and once again the Lord promises in verse 42, “And inasmuch as he (or she) is faithful in keeping my commandments, which I have given unto him (or her), I will multiply blessings upon him (or her) and his seed (or her seed) after him, even a multiplicity of blessings.”
The Lord promises us four different times in section 104, that as we are faithful in keeping His commandments…He will send down a “multiplicity of blessings.”
I woke up feeling alone and sad, but the blessings of reading the scriptures are soon brought to light…with each verse I begin feeling God’s love…
If I want to receive the, “multiplicity of blessings,” the Lord is willing to bestow upon me…I can’t forget Him…I can’t give up…I can’t lose hope…I can’t lose faith.
I want so desperately to have what the Lord promises!
“And inasmuch as ye are humble and faithful and call upon my name, behold I will give you the victory…”
I quietly finish reading…now feeling empowered and inspired, rather than lonely and afraid of the day. I swing my legs over the side of my bed. I shiver because of the cold morning air, then kneel and call upon God’s name…I need a victory today.
I know that as we put our trust in God, He will bless us in ways we can’t even imagine. I’m grateful to know that what I’ve lost in this life will be restored to me tenfold in the next. I will be able to experience the love of my husband and daughter… the way I used to. Often times God allows us to experience heartache and sorrow so we can call upon Him….and when we do… He will give us the victory…He will shower down a multiplicity of blessings.